I want to go home. I want to sleep for two days straight. I want to tell you how I feel. I want meaning. I want brilliance. I want to be on that plane right now. I want to close my eyes. I want to breath. I want to skip all of my finals and not write a single sentence more. I want him to kiss me on the forehead at 6am and crawl back into bed with me again. And again. And again.
I’m tired. I want to go home.
Anonymous: I think someone asked this already, but what are you studying?
Economics and Global Development Studies
Sometimes, carrying on, just carrying on, is the superhuman achievement.
Oh Christ I just wanted you to fuck me
and then I became greedy,
I wanted you to love me
There’s something so comforting about writing papers in the stacks at night with everyone working quietly and the smell of old books all around you.
Anonymous: What are you doing this summer?
After crying myself to sleep every night because I will/currently have no life during finals, I’ll once again realize that life does have purpose and fly to Miami for a week. Then I’ll come back Virginia for a few days and fly home to Okinawa, finally. No extensive plans there except beaching and generally doing nothing. Then it’s back to Virginia again to switch suitcases because I’ll need winter clothes for Argentina, where I’m going to study Spanish (language 4 aw yeah), stay with a host family, not be able to express myself because of the no-English policy, and eat a lot of really good food for a month. I’ll be back in Charlottesville in the middle of August to move in to my apartment/hopefully start a new job at the international center.
Now I just have to get through the “wow kill me I have two 15-page papers and three tests in one week” part.
Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.